In high school, my very best friends consisted of some boys on the basketball team, some weird hipster boys and my 3 childhood peeps: Makenna, Abbey and Lib. This being said, the majority of my friends growing up have been male. And the female friends I have had, would not fit into any white girl stereo type. Not even a little bit. Makenna spent most of our time together through volleyball, and so our friendship was based a lot around the ideas of competition and teamwork and winning. Lib and Ab are two of the most free spirited girls I have ever met, and they do not value the opinions of others when it comes to how other think they should dress or act or speak. I loved that about them, because our friendship was based around doing, and learning, and being. I'm not saying these friendships were perfect, because they certainly weren't, but I like to think that I avoided a lot of the regular girl drama by being friends with these girls because they just didn't care about a lot of things that other girls around us cared about. This being said, I don't believe that it is fair to generalize a gender into certain stereotypes, this post is pretty much just a collection of stereotypes that actually exists among the group of girls I have since become friends with in college that sometimes blows my mind. I love these girls, but it has been an adjustment to figure out how I fit in, when in all reality, I don't fit in at all.
10. Girls actually really, really, care about their instagram likes.
One day we were hanging out and T made a comment about her last picture on insta, and immediately she looked at me and asked if I had liked the picture. I couldn't really remember, and she seemed very put off. A few times since then, J and T have posted pictures of the group that they have deleted less than an hour later because it wasn't getting enough "love". One night we went out to a party where we all wore matching jerseys. It was hilarious and after we spent 20 minutes taking a good picture I went to instagram it with the hashtag "this is y", making fun of all our friends on the football team. T and J both flipped. "You can't instagram it right now!! It won't get any likes. Wait till WCW (woman crush wednesday). I don't want to instagram it tonight! Tay, you have to take it down so I can use that hashtag." I was actually shocked. I kind of laughed it off but they were dead serious. I took it down, and was actually pretty pissed. I posted it the next morning just to spite them. Which is immature, but for me, instagram is my way of keeping track of all my cute pictures and memories. It's not about status. It's for myself. (The pic got 68 likes btw. I know that because they all pointed out to me that it was below my average... which is apparently 70.)
9. Another thing about instagram, our outings usually surround around the instagram picture we will be able to get.
Every time we go out, we either spend half an hour before we leave taking pictures, or spend the entire time at the event taking pictures of each other, or scouting out a good place to take a cute pic. There are also a lot of rules about editing pictures and taking them but I won't get into all of that because, why. OH and they really care about getting photo credit. Hahahahaha once again that just blows my mind. who the hell cares?? haha.
8. Boys can really make or break their entire night.
If one of the girls has a crush on a boy and he doesn't show up, or say something nice, or pay 100% of his attention to her, or ask her to marry her right there on the spot, the night is literally ruined. Don't even bother to try and make a good night out of it because that girl is going to be pissed and sad the entire night.
7. We always have to coordinate.
Dresses. Chucks. Black. Jeans. T shirts. Jerseys. Theme. I'm not lying, every weekend we consult each other to know what to wear and make sure that every one else is on board. (Also if you are reading this and would be willing to donate any black dresses that would be fab because that tends to be our go to and I'm running out.)
6. The group message isn't the only message going around.
One night I was hanging out with Hannah and a message from J popped up. I didn't get a message from her so it obviously wasn't in the GM. It was a long message and so I asked Hans what they were talking about. She kind of looked awkward before telling me that they were talking about me. I didn't ask anything else. It didn't really matter. I realized then that even though we are all adults, we still gossip like little girls.
5. Inside jokes are very exclusive.
If you miss out on an inside joke, it takes too much time to explain it so just consider yourself out (even though they will proceed to talk and laugh about it the entire night).
4. I'm pretty much the comic relief of the group.
If anyone is in a bad mood, they will usually just tell me to do something stupid. Which is fine by me. I like making people laugh and I don't really have too many boundaries. I make a fool of myself in public with the girls all the time in hopes to change the mood. This doesn't bother me in the slightest. I have always been that girl because I like to make people laugh. The problem is that the other half of this is the fact that the girls constantly demean me and make jokes about it. If they are going to make a joke about someone, it's usually me. It's ok for them to use all my flaws against me. I guess a large part of it is I just let it slide off and act like it's funny. But a lot of the times it's not and I really feel like they think all those things about me.
3. Spending a night by yourself is very weird and lame.
One night we were all hanging out and I just felt sad and out of it, and decided I would just go home and lay in my room. The girls were very put off by that. I realized that my introvert side was definitely foreign to these very extroverted girls.
2. Starbucks.
It's true what they say... these white girls love starbucks. Which is fine. I like it too. But like we can get the same coffee at 7/11 and save like 4 bucks, but hey. White girls man. What can you do.
1. I'm not very good at keeping up with all of the girl rules.
I mess them up all the time. I really like these girls, and it's nice that I have Hannah who is kind of in the same boat as me. But I don't fit in that well. I also know I don't want to become like these girls, not because they aren't great, but because it's really exhausting to care so deeply about things that don't affect anyone besides themselves.
Anyway. This was mostly just to vent, but I need some help. Clearly. Advice???
Love,
Tay
